


Make You Smile Again

by armee



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, But Is He Really?, Complicated shit going on, Human AU, I'm not sure what this is, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Loki suffers alone, M/M, Or Is It?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armee/pseuds/armee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Tony love each other. But Tony is in a relationship with Steve.</p><p>It's complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loki's POV

I walk behind you as you walk beside him.

I was there but I don't want to be there.

I watch him heartily laugh at something you said that my ears couldn't hear.

I put my hands deeper in my jacket pocket and walked on.

He turned to you, said to wait there for a moment and crossed the street.

I felt a hand intertwine with mine as soon as he was gone.

My heart stopped.

I tried to let go but the hand held on tighter.

"How long are you going to do this, Loki?"

"As long as I can"

"But you're hurting"

"He won't be able to take it"

I hear a sigh escape from your lips.

"Tony, please"

I held back tears as we stood there on the sidewalk like that in silence.

I can see him approaching but doesn't feel your hand let go just yet.

Instead, I hear you say the words that almost made me waver.

You let my hand go and walked towards him.

I put on a face as if nothing had happened.

We walked on.

I walk behind you as you walk beside him.

But now I can hear you say those words again, still ringing in my ear.

 

_"I'll make you smile again I promise you"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even. Seriously. I don't know what is this.
> 
> Posted this as an edited version of one of my based-on-a-dream drabbles on LJ.
> 
> May or may not add chapters in the future.


	2. Steve's POV

I hear the screech of car wheels and I inwardly flinch.

It makes me think about that day again.

_The day my friend died for me._

'I am with you till the end of the line' was our pact.

He kept his promise, only I didn't.

"Live your life for me, Steve"

I held him when he breathed his last breath. 

And so my heart broke the day he left the Earth.

I wallowed in my pain, drowning in tears.

The only thing left for me now was Tony.

I was grateful for all the love and support my other friends gave me.

I struggled for a while, knowing my life will never be the same.

But Tony gave me strength to move on.

He held me when I broke down, dried my tears when they won't stop.

Bucky might be gone, but Tony was still here.

And so I lived my life, with Tony by my side.

I was no longer in so much pain.

"Thank you, Tony, for staying by me all this time"

"Don't mention it, Steve"

I hug him, he hugs me back.

I was happy, I didn't realize he wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yeah. So I caved and wrote more.  
> Please do leave comments if you can.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Coming up next, Tony's POV.


	3. Tony's POV

I was in love. I am in love.

I saw him sitting in his favourite spot with his brother.

He forgot to tie his hair again, it's now swaying with the wind.

The book he's reading is halfway done, he only started reading it the day before.

"Tony! Are you coming?"

A voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, Steve. Let's go"

I glance at him one more time before going my way.

I wish I could hold his hand, touch his lips with mine.

But I can't hurt the one I'm with.

He's already gone through so much grief and he just started to smile again.

But I can't bear to see the one I love in so much pain either.

My heart hurts when I see him looking at us.

The pain showing in his eyes while his face reveals none.

When he pretends to smile, I see his hands clenched at his sides.

"This doesn't feel right anymore, Loki"

"Steve needs you now, Tony"

"What about me? I need you too"

He doesn't answer.

I see him walk away and my heart clenched some more.

I feel something wet hit my hand.

I didn't notice tears were streaming down my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. Thanks for reading!


	4. Loki

I always got what I wanted, always did what I wanted.

I have a way with words that let people tend to do as I say.

That day, I hated myself for telling you what I did.

I saw how he broke down, how broken he became.

I wanted you to heal him, wanted you to be there for him.

He looked so devastated and I know how that feels.

I wouldn't want to wish that on anybody, not even the worst of my enemies.

The confused look you gave me that day almost broke my resolve.

I saw... I _felt_ the hurt that was in your eyes.

You looked so defeated when you accepted my decision.

I pushed you towards him, I know.

Now I want to pull you back in, back to  _me_.

I gave in, but I couldn't make myself give up.

My heart's filled with regret and my heart wants _you_.

Am I able to do that without hurting you? Or him?

I feel like I'm the reason everything's tangled in this complicated web.

I wish I could take back everything, take you back to me now.

I've always been the selfish one.

Now I rue the day I chose to be selfless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey.  
> Yeah, so we're nearing the end of this roller coaster ride.  
> I feel awful making them feel all the hurt and pain but I'm just going with whatever my muse is throwing at me.
> 
> Thanks for all the support, guys!  
> Comments are always welcome.  
> ^_^


	5. Steve

I finally had the courage to visit him.

Tony didn't know I was going to come here today.

I told him to have fun with his friends.

"I already stole enough of your time with them, just go"

With flowers in my hands, I placed them upon his grave.

Seeing his name engraved in stone like that still tugs at my heart.

I placed the flowers on top of it and sat down.

"Hey, Buck. Sorry I wasn't able to come sooner"

"I know it's been a couple of months. I'm a jerk, right?"

"You know, I'm... I'm doing fine now"

"You remember Tony, right? He helped me a lot"

"He's great. He was with me when I needed someone the most"

"He holds my hand when we watch movies at home"

"And he gives me my inhaler when I sometimes have my asthma attacks"

"He takes care of me like how you used to, Buck"

"And I think we're just dancing around each other...."

"I miss you so much, Bucky."

"I wish we had more time together"

"Well, thanks for listening. I'll visit again soon, okay?"

I got up, brushed off a few leaves off the tombstone and left.

It's time to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there!


	6. Tony

I feel worse than the jerk that I already am.

I know what to do, but I don't know how to go about doing it.

I like Steve, I really do but...

My heart yearns for Loki.

And I know it's serious, because I don't use the word 'yearn' much.

Steve suggested I see my other friends today while he needed to do something.

I didn't need to ask what it was, but I already had an inkling of it.

I wasn't in very good spirits and I didn't want to spoil anybody's day.

And so I found myself not in the company of my pals, but in the comfort of my lab.

I needed a constant in my already complicated life and my machines provided them.

I refused to stay in my room as it was too depressing.

I haven't been this confused in so long.

Steve will probably be back soon from his... errand.

I don't want to wait before any of us gets hurt.

This has got to stop sooner or later.

I decided to tell Steve as soon as he gets back.

_Off to never neverland_

I was startled out of my thoughts by my phone going off.

It was Steve.

"Hey" he said as soon as I picked up.

"I need to talk to you, Tony. Come over my house tonight, okay?"

"Sure"

A sigh escaped from my lips.

I picked up my keys and went to the garage.

I can feel it's going to be a long night.

 _It's now or never_ , I thought to myself as I drive over to Steve's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The confrontation begins. Soon.  
> Next: Loki feels.


	7. Loki

Thor found me all curled up inside a cocoon of blankets in my room.

He usually just barges in without bothering to knock.

This time is no different.

"Loki, brother!"

"Thor, you're practically inches away from my face. Please stop from rupturing my eardrums with your shouting"

"Sorry. I forgot to use my inside voice"

"Aren't you always. So, why are you here?"

"I just want to check up on you. You've been so down lately. Well, more than usual"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm okay, Thor, just have a lot to think about"

"You want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't think it will help much"

"If you're certain. Just know that I'll always be here for you."

I wasn't sure what came over me at that moment, but tears just silently rolled down my face.

Thor wordlessly wrapped me up in an embrace.

"Oh, Loki"

Thor's shirt was getting drenched far too quickly as I cried on his shoulders.

We sat there in the darkness of my room, me crying my heart out and my big brother hugging me in silence.

I was grateful for his silence, knowing he won't be able to coax out even a word out of me.

Seeing that I had finally stopped crying, he squeezed my shoulder one last time before heading out the door.

As soon as Thor walked out, I dragged myself to my window.

Tears started to well up in my eyes again as I saw a car on the street.

I only know one person in town who owns that car.

I closed the blinds and went to bed once more.

After seeing Tony's car going towards the direction of Steve's house, I curled up in my blankets and let sleep take me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that filler.  
> I just couldn't break the pattern.  
> The next chapter is where the real confrontation starts.  
> Two or three chapters to go before this ends!


	8. Steve

As soon as Tony arrived at my house and sat down on my couch, I told him we should part ways.

The awkwardness in the air was so thick you can cut it with a knife.

"What are we really, Tony?"

Tony sat there looking dumbfounded.

"I was happy with you, Tony, I really was. But it didn't feel right"

"I was selfish, I was confused. I... was mourning the loss of a dear friend"

"And I thank you for being there, Tony. But it feels like we're only fooling ourselves"

"I did love you, Tony. I really did. And it breaks my heart to do this but it's time to let go, don't you think?"

Tony just sat there in silence, maybe contemplating on what to say.

"I liked you, Steve. I'm sorry but I love someone else. And because of this, I am guilty of hurting you both"

Steve only nodded his head. He really didn't anticipate this outcome.

"You didn't cheat on me while we were in a relationship, did you? I only want to know"

"No! I wouldn't do that to you, Steve. I'm not that cruel"

"It's just that, my heart belonged to someone else the whole time I was with you"

That was a bit painful to hear.

"I'm happy that you have someone you love, Tony, I really am"

"But I'm sorry I can't smile for you"

"Maybe not now, but someday. Someday."

I got up and placed a kiss on his lips one last time.

He didn't respond.

"Goodbye, Tony."

"Goodbye, Steve"

And then he walked out of my door.

We were slowly killing each other and we had no idea.

I feel like a heavy burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

But who are we kidding, right? Breakups are always painful.

Especially when you did love the person, one way or another.

I walked into my kitchen and took out the whole gallon of ice cream I bought.

Taking a spoon and my ice cream with me, I went back into the living room and started my Netflix queue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I suck at break-up scenes. 
> 
> Tony only has the last POV left and the epilogue-ish chapter will go after.  
> I'm sorry for all the drama since Chapter 1 and I hope the next chapters will make up for the angst fest.
> 
> Thank you again if you're still with me!


	9. Tony

The drive from Steve's place back to my house was a bit of a blur.

I didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say.

But I know my heart is aching.

I just got dumped, big time.

I just lost a good person in my life, and I don't know if we'll ever talk again.

But now, I have a chance to be with the one I love.

This is such a bittersweet moment.

Without even so much of a thought of what I'm about to do, I grabbed my car keys again.

_And drove to Loki's house._

I practically jumped out of my car when I collided into Thor.

"Tony. It's late, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Loki, buddy. I know it's late. Just- this can't wait"

_I can't wait._

"Loki seems so down lately. Are you the cause of this?"

I could only gulp down my fear seeing as Thor's hands turned into fists at his sides.

"Big guy, you can crush me into a pulpy mess later, okay? I just need to talk to Loki. To make things right"

I didn't wait for Thor to answer and just dashed into their house.

"I will beat you up later! Second door to the left, idiot!"

I just climbed up the stairs two steps at a time and stopped at Loki's door.

I barged in here all rude-like and now that I'm a few steps away...

_No, don't back down Tony. Just go in._

I opened the door and all I saw was darkness. The curtains were drawn and no light shone through.

I can make out a figure on the bed and slowly approached.

"Loki?"

A sniffle, and "Tony?"

"I can't believe I'm in your room right now. Am I dreaming? No, don't answer that. And don't slap me either"

"What are you doing here, Tony? You can't be seen around here"

"I'm here, Loki. I'm here because I love you and we can finally be together"

"What are you saying. Tony, what did you do?"

"I'm saying that Steve and I are not together anymore. I'm saying that-"

"What? Why? I told you he needed you, Tony. Why are you here?"

"Because he broke up with me, Loki. Do you hear me? **HE** broke up with **ME**. We're done, nada."

He just sat there, stunned.

I took a few more steps towards him.

"I guess you were right. He did need me at the time, Loki. But now, now he can stand on his own two feet"

"Steve is strong, I know that much. He will survive. But I... I can't survive without you"

"So Loki, please. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Please, _snowflake_ , don't melt into nothingness"

I can see him react to the endearment.

He reached out and cupped my face. I unknowingly cried into his hand.

Let it be said that Tony Stark has a heart, too.

And it's safe at the hands of one Loki Odinson.

We just sat there the whole time, holding onto each other, afraid to let go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post this before I went on my vacation. I'm so sorry for posting this so late. 
> 
> There's only going to be the epilogue left and I'll be posting this soon.
> 
> Thank you so much again for sticking with me thus far.


	10. Epilogue

_Loki_

I finally had the courage to give him a kiss today.

It has been a grueling couple of months, but everything's so much better now. After Tony's breakup with Steve, I felt that it was too soon for us to jump into a relationship. I asked Tony to give me time; not that long, I promised him, just time for things to settle around us. Tony reluctantly agreed but he wanted for us to spend time together and insisted we at least go somewhere twice a week.

Whenever we're in public, I can feel eyes poring at the back of my head. I told Tony to lay off with any kind of affection, to which he responds with a huff of annoyance but complies anyway. Sometimes I can hear whispers behind me but Tony always finds a way to distract me whenever that happens. Somehow, I always feel happier when I'm around Tony (but don't let him know I said that, it will feed his ego so bad) and I feel like we've wasted so much time. Now, we're just taking things in our own time. I guess, it's contradicting with what I just said, but isn't everything really?

We were supposed to meet at my favorite place today, the tree at the back of the campus. I usually sat there to read whenever I feel like being alone. Nowadays, I barely want to be alone with my thoughts.

I already saw Tony waiting when I got there.

"Were you waiting long?" I asked him while placing my backpack against the tree and sat down beside him.

"No, not really. But I have a surprise for you" he said while holding something behind his back.

"I already know what it is, you idiot, I saw it when I came" I whispered to him before realizing what I just said. I punched his arm and he just laughed at me. I can't help but laugh along though, when he handed to me the book I told him about.

"Aren't you just the cleverest dolt. You don't like being handed things but you don't have any problem handing things out" I said to him. But he wasn't listening. He was looking elsewhere, with a glazed look in his eyes. I followed his gaze and saw Steve's retreating back. There was a smile on Tony's lips when I looked back at his face. Words didn't come to mind in that moment and so, I did what I felt can express what I wanted to say.

I gave him a kiss.

 

_Steve_

I finally gave him the smile that I owed him.

After that night, I didn't see him all that much. I know I broke things off with him, but I did love him, one way or another. Friends started to ask what happened between us. I always reply that things didn't work out and we decided to go our separate ways.

I saw him waiting under the tree where Loki frequently sits to read. And then everything clicks. He didn't say who it was he really loved that night. But seeing him now sitting there, understanding finally dawns on me. It was Loki all along. Belatedly realizing this made me feel relieved. Okay, maybe a tad bit of resentment, but it was staring me in the face and I didn't even see it. How could I have been so naive.

Then I saw Loki slowly approaching Tony and sat beside him under the tree. I've never seen Tony's face light up like that while I was with him. That actually kind of hurts a bit. Loki whispered something to him and lightly punched his arm. Tony only laughs at him and handed him the book he's been holding.

_So this is how Tony Stark looks like when he's in love._

I gathered my things and got up from the bench I was sitting on. I looked at them one last time when Tony met my eyes. It was unreadable for a moment. I gave him a nod and a smile before walking off.

I didn't look back.

 

_Tony_

We talked some more after that night in Loki's room. He didn't want to rush into things and I respect that. I asked him just to spend time with me. He agreed. I'm a very easy-to-please kind of guy. And so, we spend time together. Sometimes we go to his house, sometimes in mine. Other times we go on dates. But he always asks me to be discreet and that kind of disappoints me but I try to be patient, for Loki's sake.

There are a few times when I see people glaring at Loki, or hear someone whispering behind our backs. I feel, _I know_ Loki notices them. When this happens, though, I distract him with a joke or divert his attention elsewhere. He doesn't say anything but I know he feels better this way.

I told him to meet me by the tree he usually read at. I sat there, waiting for him to turn up. Now I can understand why he likes sitting under here. It's peaceful, a perfect place to read a book. Or to be alone and think without anyone disturbing him. I took out the book I was going to give him from my backpack and hid it behind me.

I heard the crunching of leaves behind me. I turned around and saw Loki approaching. I couldn't help but smile like a giddy child who got what he wanted for Christmas. You know the feeling, right? Yes, that's how happy I am.

"Were you waiting long?" he asked before sitting beside me.

"No, not really. But I have a surprise for you" I said to him while slowly trying to retrieve the book without him seeing it beforehand.

"I already know what it is, you idiot, I saw it when I came" he leaned towards me and whispered. I guess he realized what he just said when I laughed out loud. He punched me on my arm and I just laughed louder. At least he laughed with me.

I handed over the book to him. I saw a familiar glob of blond hair and saw Steve sitting a few benches from where we were. Our gazes locked for a few moments when I saw him nod at me and smiled before he walked away. I can hear Loki talking to me again but I couldn't really hear the words. I can't help but smile back. When I looked at Loki again, words completely escaped me with what he did next.

**He kissed me.**

**In public.**

At first, the shock made me sit still for a few moments. And then it hit me, what was finally happening, and kissed him back. I can feel him smiling in the kiss, we both are. I pulled back and looked him in the eye.

"I promised you didn't I? I made good on that promise. I got you smiling again" I told him with a teasing tone.

"Oh, shut up. Just kiss me senseless, won't you?" he playfully bumped my head with his.

"Not here, though. Let's go"

I stole a quick kiss from his sweet, sweet lips, grabbed his hand and stood up. Everyone was staring at us now. We were giggling like the teenagers we are and holding hands while we ran off to my car.

This time though, we don't care what everybody thinks. This time, I'm really holding on to Loki's hand without thinking of ever letting go.

This time I was finally able to show everybody who I fell in love with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so here ends our rollercoaster ride. 
> 
> Thanks for reading this one hell of a story!  
> All the comments, hits and kudos mean a lot and are well appreciated!


End file.
